


Breakeven

by rosethorngirl



Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types, Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angst, Clint Is a Good Bro, Explicit Language, Happy Stony Ending, M/M, M/M Sex, Male Slash, Pining, Protective Natasha, Some OOC, Steve Feels, Steve Is Kinda Clueless Until He Isn't, Tony Feels, Violence, established relationship breakup
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-11
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-08 10:58:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1938354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosethorngirl/pseuds/rosethorngirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a fanvid by [@Tony Stark/Steve Rogers Diary] titled “Breakeven” on YouTube – Steve refuses to commit to Tony no matter how much Tony asks and gives of himself. Frustrated and hurt, Tony breaks up with Steve and soon after begins dating Bruce Wayne. Steve, seeing this, realizes his mistake and starts trying to win Tony back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> TITLE: Breakeven  
> RATING: MA/Explicit/NC-17  
> GENRE: AU – Slash, Romance/Angst/Drama  
> PAIRING(S): Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Tony Stark/Bruce Wayne  
> CHARACTER(S): Marvel Assorted Characters  
> WARNING(S): AU, M/M Sex, Violence, Language, Some OOC, Established Relationship Breakup, Angst, Tony Feels, Steve Feels, Steve Is Kinda Clueless Until He Isn’t, and Happy Stony Ending  
> SPOILER(S): Some for the overall MCU   
> VERSE: None  
> DISCLAIMER: Don’t own anything and not even really the plot. The original plot idea belongs to YouTuber [@Tony Stark/Steve Rogers Diary], and their video “Breakeven.” Link to the video is below. Awesome video, you will be blown away!!  
> SUMMARY: Based off a fanvid by [@Tony Stark/Steve Rogers Diary] titled “Breakeven” on YouTube – Steve refuses to commit to Tony no matter how much Tony asks and gives of himself. Frustrated and hurt, Tony breaks up with Steve and soon after begins dating Bruce Wayne. Steve, seeing this, realizes his mistake and starts trying to win Tony back.  
> A/N: I want to thank [@Tony Stark/Steve Rogers Diary] for allowing me to do this. I hope I do your amazing video justice! It starts out as a blog entry, but there will be actual plot. It’s merely the beginning. So if you don’t like that sort of thing, it’ll go to normal by the first chapter. ☺ LINK TO VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PrhJqL7vpDs

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even

Her best days were some of my worst  
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first  
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping  
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason  
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding  
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving  
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,  
I'm falling to pieces  
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)  
I'm falling to pieces  
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain  
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.  
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh  
'Cause you left me with no love and honor to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing  
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in  
'Cause I got time while she got freedom  
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...  
No, it don't break  
No, it don't break even, no

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?  
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?  
(Oh glad you're okay now)  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
I'm falling to pieces, yeah  
(Oh I'm falling, falling)  
I'm falling to pieces,  
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)  
I'm falling to pieces  
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)

Oh, it don't break even no  
Oh, it don't break even no  
Oh, it don't break even no  
“Breakeven,” The Script

Prologue

BigBlogger.net/Steve-Rogers

Blog #1~Intro To Steve’s Blog  
August 21, 2014  
Updated 11:04 AM  
Approximate Location: Manhattan, New York

I have never really been one that felt the need to monologue about my life. 

Maybe it’s because I had so much of my life commented on and written about that I didn’t really need to before I went into that…uh…well forced frozen sleep, I guess you could nicely say.

As Captain America, I had a lot of responsibility and people depending on me. 

I didn’t have time to think of things like whether or not my real biography was being published by someone who knew me, or by some hack writer that merely wanted to sensationalize a good story to sell more copies. I mean, you have to remember too, I was a living comic; so if the idea ever did cross my mind, I would have just assumed it would be nothing but a bunch of malarkey.

But I’m getting off subject, sorry.

The point I’m trying to make here is I’ve never done anything like this blogging thing. Was never one to keep journals because between explosions it’s hard to have time to stop and wax poetic about what color the fire was, if you understand what I mean? 

But I think it could be a good platform to clear a few things up; namely my relationship with Tony Stark.

So many people are curious – and to be honest, I don’t know why – about what happened between us. The truth is nothing really happened, necessarily.

We just…grew apart I guess you could say.

Sure, we had issues – personal issues – that factored in, but it wasn’t anything he did or I did. We just realized we were two separate people who wanted two separate things. 

And truly that’s okay.

No hard feelings whatsoever.

In fact our working relationship has improved exponentially. Fewer arguments about who forgot dinner the night before in the heat of finding the off switch to a gigantic robot and fighting evil other worldly creatures.

Yes, clear and concise boundaries between work and regular life, which was admittedly lacking before. 

That was both of our faults. It just got really easy to forget we weren’t just partners, but also teammates. And some things don’t belong outside of just between each other. 

Certain feelings don’t belong certain places because it’s too dangerous. But not because it wasn’t felt, just that our jobs – especially mine, since I’m Captain America nearly full time – require a relative distance. 

You can’t be so concerned about what your partner is doing on the battlefield that you sacrifice the safety of everyone else. Or put those private partner things so far out in the open, that you risk people (villains) using them against you.

And I’ve had more practice with that by design. It’s not at all Tony’s fault that he’s not of a soldier’s mindset; he’s not a soldier. I am. So it was and is my responsibility to keep things professional in that sense.

But I just want everyone to know he and I are good. 

Our break up wasn’t nearly as messy as the tabloids portrayed; and despite what people may want you to believe, Tony isn’t always the reason for everything. He didn’t hurt me, if anything I hurt him.

But as I’ve said many times now, we are one hundred percent fine. So please stop sending him nasty tweets, and writing negatively of him. He doesn’t at all deserve it. You are far off base.

If anything, send him thank yous for all he does for you; which, in truth, is far more than what you think you know.

Anyway, tonight is a charity event that will be to help orphaned children after the events from a year ago. I hope we can raise enough to ensure home situations for all of them.

Thank you for reading this, and I hope I did it right. Might take a few times to get the whole idea of it down, but it was actually kind of cathartic. 

Until Next Post (do people usually sign off like that?)  
Steve Rogers

Comments (1016) Likes (25k+)

 

Blog #2~Untitled  
August 22, 2014  
Updated 1:17AM  
Approximate Location: Manhattan, New York

I lied.

We’re not okay.

I messed it up, and I want to go back and fix it. Want him to look at me like he used to. Dance with me because he wants to do nothing else, and not because he feels he has to.

You see I took so much for granted. 

I didn’t appreciate what we had. I didn’t take it seriously. I let the sentiment that should have been being said as often as possible, and in as many ways as possible, be left out. 

And maybe, yes, I was scared because of all the reasons I said before; but it wasn’t an excuse.

And now he’s seeing someone else, and I have to watch as they give him everything he deserves.

I have to swallow my pride and be happy for him, because he deserves that from me.

But how do I do that when everything in my life revolves around him? 

I don’t know.

Steve Rogers

Comments (18,074) Likes (110k+)


	2. Chapter One: Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Word Count: 2861  
> Disclaimer: Don't own anything and receive no compensation. No offense or infringement intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo here's the deal. I have (did have) the first 3 chapters of this story written. BUUUUT my roommate needed to borrow my computer to complete a school assignment and the next thing I know when I get it back...it's all gone. *sigh* So here is Chapter One - take 2. lol More for this story soon!

Chapter One

June 14, 2014

“Fucking son of a bitch!” Tony yells as he chucks his tablet across the room with a snarl.

Natasha watches it fly and smack into a wall before bouncing off and landing on the floor with a clatter, as she slowly steps into the room. Carefully she walks over to pick it up to inspect the damage, unsurprised to find none. Stark builds his tech sturdy; it would take a lot more than that to take it down.

“So,” she says conversationally as Tony paces and huffs to himself and she continues her trek over to him, “if we’re attempting to destroy your devices, can I start with my alarm clock?”

“Har har,” he grumbles and turns away from her, rubbing his face nervously.

She smirks and clicks the screen on, easily entering the password she figured out a long time ago in the text box, and bringing up what pissed their billionaire engineer off.

What she finds makes her internally sigh, but outwardly put on her standard issue irreverence for anything emotion related.

“Since when do you care about what some gossip rag has to say?”

Hands on hips he turns to face her again with a scowl before crossing his arms. “Since the gossip rag decided to point out Steve was absent from the Stark Expo Opening Ceremony last night, and make it seem like I’m cheating on him.”

Natasha, now actually sighing, comes forward to place the tablet on the breakfast bar and stand in front of him. 

“Time was you would have laughed something that ridiculous off with a wink and a smile. What’s up champ?” she drawls.

Tony shrugs and leans across the back of a bar stool with a sad sound.

“Okay,” she says slowly, “why didn’t Steve go last night? I know for a fact all he did was bum around the gym, eat pizza and watch 300. So it wasn’t because he had something important to do.”

Tony looks at her side eyed. “How do you know that? You were at the event.”

She makes to answer but then he waves her off. “Never mind. I should know not to ask stupid questions.”

Crossing her arms, she says, “Well?”

“He just didn’t want to go. He was tired and wanted to enjoy his day off. Can’t really fault him of that, can we?”

Eyebrow hiked, Natasha scowls a little. “I can when it results in once again everybody assuming you did something you didn’t do, and upsetting you.”

Tony scoffs. “I’m used to that.”

“So then what’s the deal?”

Sighing and feeling a tad too raw, he turns his head to the side and stares out the large floor to ceiling windows on the other side of the room. “I told him I loved him the other day, and he’s barely spoken or looked at me since.”

Natasha, shocked, drops into a barstool and leans against the counter. “You mean he didn’t say it back?”

“No. He didn’t,” he replies with as much dignity as he can. “And now he’s going to read the headlines and look at the pictures that are out of context and assume Bruce is more than just an old colleague...and then assume he was right to just say, ‘thanks.’”

Unimpressed by that last admission she huffs to herself, but wisely doesn’t mention it. Knowing Tony, he probably didn’t mean to let slip something quite that personal, but he’s too tired to have the control he’d usually assert over his mouth.

“Mr. Wayne does seem like someone you would’ve grown up around,” she responds instead glibly.

He shoots her a small glare before letting it fall into an expression of resignation. “I have never slept with Bruce. We’ve never even really liked each other.”

“So then why talk to him?” she asks and crosses her arms, listening intently.

“His company is showcasing this year,” his answer was simple and crisp, making Natasha raise an eyebrow. “Pepper wanted me to get a photo for him. Good for PR and all that jazz.”

“But you talked to him a little more than that,” she presses.

His gaze was pure steel as he turns to her, “I did not and have not, under any circumstances, cheat on my boyfriend. And quite frankly, I’m tired of people assuming I would.”

She raises her hands in surrender. “Honestly, Tony, I don’t think you did. But you need to be more composed when you speak to Steve about it, and the best way to do that is talking it through.”

He turns away and huffs. 

It’s not as though he isn’t completely guiltless and he knows that. All he needed to do was pose for a picture and pretend to care about Wayne’s decidedly faulty quinjet design. He didn’t actually need to share a drink and start remembering his father with the man.

But Bruce said something that caught him off his guard, and suddenly he was overcome with the want to just talk to someone. Not about anything important and business related. Not about anything saving the world related. And certainly not about anything love and relationship related.

Just some old memories from a time long ago that was both better and worse than now.

And he liked it. 

And that made him feel monumentally guilty, because talking to Steve should always be pleasurable. He should be able to just feel comfortable enough to shoot the shit with the man he loves…and yet he hasn’t felt that way truly in at least two months, but definitely not since he told Steve he loved him and got nearly dead air in response.

“Did I enjoy talking to someone who is relatively removed from the drama that encapsulates my life? Yes. I did,” he finally says to fill the silence that had befallen them.

“Okay,” Natasha says, agreeably. “There’s nothing wrong with that, Tony.”

He shakes his head. “No but there is, you see? Because that someone should have been Steve, but Steve wasn’t even there.” He bites his lip and hangs his head. “Steve hasn’t been to the last three events with me. Of course the press is going to notice! How many ‘Oh he’s out being his Captain America do-gooder self’s are they going to buy before they notice something’s up?”

“Why is that?” she asked, growing concerned.

He rolls his eyes at her, “You can’t believably say to me you haven’t noticed that he’s been absent.”

“I didn’t say that. I just chose not pry till now,” she drapes one of her arm across the back of the barstool she sitting in and the other on the counter, going for nonchalance in her pose and failing just short. “You say you told him you loved him, he didn’t say it back. What gives?”

“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be talking to you,” he pauses and huffs a half laugh, “Why am I talking to you?”

She chews her lip as she takes in Tony’s exhausted countenance. 

She cared about Tony.

Back when she was pretending to be Natalie, he treated her like an equal. Yes he made passes at her, but she quickly caught on that it was an act and just a part of his personality. When Pepper was giving her a hard time, Tony would step in and give her the opportunity to speak her mind.

And regardless of the fact that it was a fake job, she appreciated his appreciation for what some people would consider the lesser opinion. To her, it revealed his character.

However, she also cared about Steve.

Steve saved her life. That didn’t mean she agreed with his choices and particularly not this one in how he’s treating Tony. The way she saw it, Steve was so lucky to have someone who loved him and was willing to show that. By treating Tony this way, making him feel like it was ones sided and that he wasn’t even important enough to stand and smile at an event with him, he may as well just be alone.

“Anyway,” he continues and hits the back of the barstool he’s leaning against with a sound of finality.

That was obviously that for their little conversation.

“I’ll be in my lab,” he tells her as he walks towards the elevator.

She shakes her head. “No, you’re going to see Steve.”

“No, I’m not,” he shoots over his shoulder.

She smirks, “Tell him I think he’s an idiot.”

There was no response as the elevators slid shut. Natasha hoped it wasn’t a metaphor for the closing of a door on Tony’s heart.

~T&S~  
Tony was, in fact, going to see Steve.

But he did for all of a second consider retreating to his lab. Mostly for plausible deniability to Natasha later. Can’t have her ego swell any larger in thinking she’s got him completely hammered down.

He knew though, he had to hash out with Steve this issue before he let it fester between. Better to face it head on than be accused later, right? And if he didn’t bring it up and deal with it immediately, it[‘ll make him seem more guilty.

So off to Steve it was.

In his mind, he was running every possible scenario as to how this coming confrontation would go; and all of them ended with him eventually asking Steve to forgive him for allowing himself to be in a place where the press could manipulate facts. He knows better than to let down his guard down like that, and he never meant to humiliate the team by being the source of yet another scandal. 

Untrue or not.

So he’d bluster a bit at first, then cave. And Steve would most probably forgive him and they’d be back to how it was before.

Which is fine.

Absolutely fine.

Because Tony loves Steve, and Steve is one of the few people whom willing put up with him. Who have allowed him to stay around after the fucking is done, and even hold him…and sooth away his nightmares…and touch him like he’s something truly desirable and not just easily led.

Truth is Tony needs Steve.

But he isn’t under any delusion that Steve needs him.

So he keeps going hoping one day that changes and accepting it probably never will.

When he reaches Steve’s floor, he expected to find the man either reading the paper (dinosaur) or sketching on his couch. If he was reading the paper, then no doubt he’d already be scowling and waiting for Tony to come and explain. If he was sketching, then Tony would need to gauge his mood to find out whether or not he had seen the headlines yet.

He sighs and rubs his eyes. Fun times were surely not ahead. Steeling himself, he crosses his arms and walks into the room as the door opened.

Later, Tony would be able to say he had expected anything walking into the room, that morning.

Anything.

Anything but to find his boyfriend laughing on the phone.

Steve rarely ever speaks to him on the phone. Choosing instead to relay through JARVIS, or wait until they were in presence of one another. Tony figured it was some weird 40’s thing, and chose to find it endearing instead of disappointing; since there were times when he was away on business that he’d like to speak with Steve without a buffer. And yet, as it turns out, Steve can talk to whoever this was but not him?

The man was standing near his kitchen table, half naked in unzipped jeans and bare chest. It was obvious he had just left the shower with his damp blonde hair tousled on his hair, and light sheen evident on his exposed skin. In any other circumstance he would find the image highly erotic. At the moment, though, it just put his nerves further on edge.

“Yeah,” Steve was saying as he held his chest, coming down from whatever had him manically cackling a second ago. “We definitely need to do that again! I haven’t had that much fun in I don’t know how long! God that was great, man.”

Tony felt his heart as well as his mouth drop.

So yes, he enjoyed talking with Bruce Wayne last night; but that didn’t mean he didn’t love every minute of his time with Steve. It was fulfilling watching the blonde smile and ask questions about modern references, or take him to fancy places and see the wonderment at how amazing the food tastes. Most his best memories with Steve involve going places like his Hamptons cottage and lazing about on the beach together. 

They have fun. Shut up, they do.

So hearing Steve say that was extremely hurtful.

Steve is his best friend...isn’t he Steve’s?

Steve is still chuckling as he turns to grab his coffee, and then noticing Tony, freezes slightly before waving with an easy smile. “Yeah, Sam, I’m going to let you go, alright? Tony’s here.”

Tony crosses his arms and scoffs to himself as he looks off to the side floor to ceiling window and Steve hangs up. He ignores the man as he walks forward and rubbed his elbows, kissing Tony on the forehead.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you so early this morning,” Steve tells him with a lopsided grin.

Tony looks up at him, doing his best reel his hurt feelings in; but Steve notices and frowns at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asks.

Lip curling back in a sneer, the engineer jerks his elbows out of the super soldiers grasp and walks over to the window, distinctly making sure Steve knows that his back is to him on purpose. “How was your night, Steve?”

“Fine,” is the immediate, albeit confused, response. 

Nodding, Tony stares out at the New York early morning skyline. His heart’s heavy and his eyes are dating all over the place as he tries to come up with the right words. But nothing can process past the point that Steve is meeting with someone named Sam and never mentioned them to him.

It’s not that Steve isn’t allowed friends, of course he is. But in a committed relationship, you typically mention who you spend time with, with each other. Even just in passing. He isn’t crazy to be feeling miffed over Steve never saying anything about Sam and how he’s the greatest fun Steve’s ever had. 

Hell, this was the whole reason he had come to his boyfriend’s level in the first place to discuss his talking to Bruce.

And now he has a headache coming on. He just feels so confused, and hurt, and slighted, angry, and sad, and dejected, and fucking lonely, and…

“Tony, sweetheart,” Steve said as he came forward. “Are you okay?”

Tony bites his lip and turns slowly. Part of him just wants to come out with how he feels – about everything and not just about this new development with some dude named Sam – but the bigger part just wants his relationship to work. He wants Steve to prove him wrong, and that he is in love. And that he’s as important to Steve as Steve is to him.

So instead of doing what he would normally do, which is shoot his mouth off, he controls his voice and says calmly, “I want us to go to dinner tonight, if that’s alright?”

Steve, taken aback, simply widens his eyes.

“I just,” the engineer continues, “I feel like it’d be good if we have a night...together. You know that’s just about us. Away from publicity events, schmoozing, and outside of the apartment here…”

“Oh,” Steve says with a soft smile. “That sounds nice, Tony. Where’d you like to go? Pep’s Pepperoni or - ?”

“No,” Tony tells him rather sharply. “I was thinking Tavern.”

Steve’s eyes blew open at this. “Tavern on the Green?”

“Why not?” Tony asked, tightening his arms around himself. “It will be romantic.”

“It’s sixty dollars for a basic steak,” Steve retorted. “Why not something a little simpler. Less…over the top.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed. “Maybe I want over the top for once. I can certainly afford it, and I think our date night should be special and not just a pizza. Like we do almost every date night.”

“Pizza can be special,” Steve replied. “I thought you liked laid back?”

“Sometimes, and sometimes I want to spoil my boyfriend. You would do that for me too, wouldn’t you?”

The staring contest that ensued Tony knew Steve read for what it was: a challenge.

“Fine,” Steve finally conceded. “We’ll go to Tavern then. I’m pretty sure the suit you bought me is clean. What time?”

“Eight,” Tony replied and sniffed looking toward the elevator and then back at Steve. “I’ll meet you in the lobby at seven fifteen.”

Steve smiled at him then and leaned down for a kiss, which Tony returned after a brief moment. Then he pulled away and walked toward the elevator, calling over his shoulder, “Don’t be late.”

Steve said he wouldn’t, but no matter how much Tony fought his instincts, he knew subconsciously it was the beginning of the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! More soon! Kudos, comments and bookmarks are greatly appreciated, and thank you to everyone who checked out the music vid this was inspired by!


	3. Chapter Two: Going Back To The Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Don't own shit.  
> Words: 1067

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG! I freaking updated today! GO ME! I didn't think I could but I did it! lol I think it was the two long island ice teas...don't judge me lol ;P Thank you for continued support of this story! It means sooooo much!! Enjoy!

Chapter Two ~ Going Back To The Start

BigBlogger.net/Steve-Rogers

Blog #3~Reflections Part 1  
August 23, 2014  
Updated 9:23 AM  
Approximate Location: Manhattan, New York

Okay, to be honest, I can’t believe I’m really doing this.

And by this I mean revealing and reflecting (publicly) about my relationship with Tony. It isn’t usually my style, but I feel like it’s the only place I can really work through the mess I’ve made.

…and if Tony happens to read it and see how sorry I am, well that would definitely be wonderful.

But that isn’t my only motivation. 

I really want to see and find where I got it wrong. Where I missed the signs he kept giving me that he wasn’t happy. Because if one thing is true about Tony, it’s that he isn’t exactly subtle. If he was truly unhappy and on the verge breaking it off with me, he would have given me very large indicators that that’s where his head was; and several of my teammates have informed me that he did, and I was just too dense to see them.

Therefore, here we are.

Only our friends and teammates know this, but he and I started seeing each other shortly after the incidents with The Mandarin (I’m certain everyone remembers that incident) last year. Tony had been rebuilding Stark Tower as Avengers Tower which is here in New York. So when his house in Malibu reached an unfortunate end, he moved here full time.

It isn’t exactly a secret he and I had many differences when we were first getting to know one another, but it quickly resolved when we realized we weren’t so different. 

Both men out of time, albeit for differing reasons. 

Me because I was frozen for seventy years, him because his mind is advanced by at least seventy years…and also because we had a difficult time connecting with modern society.

It takes a while for people to warm up to Tony if they aren’t forced to live under the same roof with him. They don’t get his jokes, don’t like his sass, are angered by his rakishness, and confused by his inability to maintain a civil conversation without at least once making a reference to his own flamboyance.

(I happen to find these qualities equal parts infuriating and endearing, because I love who Tony is and wouldn’t change him at all.)

And I have a hard time understanding a lot of the pop culture references that come up in common conversation, which makes it very difficult to laugh at things where I don’t understand the joke and therefore make me seem like a square with no personality. This hinders my ability to make friends, unfortunately.

(By the way, I happen to have a lot of personality; and thanks to Tony, I’ve caught up on a lot of pop culture.)

So because of these reasons, both outsiders looking for friends and kinship, we gravitated to one another. Match made and all that…and it was amazing.

In everything, Tony continually blew my mind. Every smile, every kiss, every time we…you know…he never does anything by halves. He’s either all in or all out; and dear mighty god, do you want Tony Stark to be all in with you. His sparkling umber eyes freezing you to the spot, drawing your soul in, totally and completely focused on you.

Never before had I ever met and communed with someone so on it, you know? Tony was a firecracker of energy and ideas, barreling through social norms and expectancy. I was and am awed by him. His technology is unmatched, and his beautiful brain is a never ceasing ocean of more-more-more!

He reminds me so much of his father…the good parts of Howard anyway. But that’s not a path I feel is appropriate to go revisit with you all.

Anyway.

In retrospect, Tony and I were kind of like a couple of trains on the same track headed towards each other at Mach speed. Bound to collide and fall apart together. Destined to either destroy each other or make a new train with the best parts of each other.

Unfortunately, we fell into the destroy category.

I think, and I’m not sure because if I was I wouldn’t be talking here now would I, but I believe the beginning of the end was in this past April.

We had been off for a few days, nitpicking each other and just generally tense and snappy. We were both tired, my (very) old friend made an appearance and things happened. I’m not going to go into too many details for security reasons, but let’s leave it at it just wasn’t a good time for anyone.

It drove the two of us at each other’s throats until we finally had to agree to just buckle down and put a pin in it until it was all over. But after the fallout died down and it was time to hash things out, a lot of questions arose that I didn’t really have an answer to. 

My friend, the one that started the driving of the wedge, made Tony start thinking and wondering about things that I didn’t know what to say about. 

Was I ever in love or even like with them? I really didn’t know and still don’t. I never had the time to really stop and think of that kind of a possibility. I know that I deeply cared for them, and that I still do; but does deeply care qualify for love? 

I don’t know.

This confession led Tony to the question of whether I had ever loved anyone besides my mother. Like romantically loved someone…and I didn’t have an answer for that either.

It was shortly after that, that I noticed Tony begin pulling back a little bit. Not so much as to make you think he wasn’t still completely invested in us, more like a resignation that at the time I wrote off for frustration at whatever he was currently designing.

Now I wish I had paid more attention.

But I have to stop myself here. I’m helping reopen a school in a district that was affected by the Chitauri war last year.

Maybe this will give me time to think what I’ve written out so far over.

Until Next Post (seriously is that an okay sign off?)  
Steve Rogers

Comments (14,321) Likes (125k+)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and watching the youtube vid this is inspired by! As always, kudos comments and bookmarks are highly appreciated!


	4. Chapter Three: Say Something pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I just realized I’ve had the date wrong in this fic, so I’ve gone back and changed it. Tony and Steve have been together a year, and The Winter Soldier happened in 2014. So they are relatively current with the present Marvel timeline – barring GoTG…because I haven’t seen that. LOL. Thank you so much for all of your support, it’s been amazing! I can’t even begin to tell you what your comments and kudos mean to me, but know it’s a lot. I try to respond to everyone, if I don’t get you immediately it’s cause I haven’t seen it yet. But I will get to everyone! Thank you again!!  
> A/N2: This felt like it needed to end where it did. The next chapter will pick up the first scene in the music video.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Words: 2074

Chapter Three ~ Say Something pt. 1

June 14, 2014

 

The ride to Tavern on the Green couldn’t have been more awkward for Tony. 

Steve kept saying how he was glad Tony dragged him out of his apartment, and that Tony looked so handsome. And admittedly, Tony did look hot. He made sure of that with his shiny black Armani suit that was tailored to hug his ass perfectly. He wanted to be the only thing Steve was looking at tonight.

But nothing is as awkward as watching his boyfriend dither over food selections because of prices, when he’s repeatedly told him to just get whatever (he can’t believe they nearly got into a fight over it) and then the run over silence that followed the order taking process. 

Steve is playing with his silverware, constantly adjusting the cloth napkin in his lap; and Tony is swirling his glass of scotch, pointedly not looking at Steve.

Usually, Tony would pay to clear the restaurant out if they were going to have a date-date, but tonight he just didn’t put in the thought for that. Too busy being worried about what it was he was going to say. And still he had nothing. The longer the awkward silence stretches, however, the more Tony decides it should be Steve who talks to him first. He knows it’s childish, that’s not the point. The point is Steve should be putting as much effort into their relationship as he has. If he can’t say I love you, he can at least do that.

After a few more minutes and the waiter delivering their appetizer, Steve clears his throat, the quiet between them obviously getting to him. Tony coolly looks up at him and sends him a half smile that was as fake as the flowers in the center of their table. 

“So,” the super soldier says and reaches for his tea, taking a quick sip.

Tony nods, “So.” He takes a swig of his scotch and gives the restaurant a cursory glance. 

A few patrons had noticed their presence and were not so covertly trying to snap pictures. Tony rolls his eyes at them. Any other night he’d ham it up and give them something good to gossip about, but tonight he was just too damn emotionally tired.

Steve bites his lip and goes back to playing with his silverware, “This is nice, I guess.”

Tony watches him through narrowed eyes and huffs to himself. Because really? That’s the best he can say, when he can gab his friend Sam’s ear clean off…on a fucking telephone no less? 

“You guess?” Tony shoots back snippily.

Steve looks up at him in shock at his tone, and visibly shrinks back a little at the thunderous expression on his face. “Well, I mean…”

“You guess,” Tony scoffs and swallows down the contents of his scotch. Wincing at the burn, he shakes his head. “You guess it’s nice to spend time with your boyfriend? Wow.” he asks with challenge clearly evident in his eyes.

“No,” Steve responds, getting upset himself. “Of course I love spending time with you!”

“Right,” he laughs humorlessly, “you love it.”

Tony looks out the window they’re sat next to and ignores Steve’s cry of, “I do!”

“You love it,” the engineer chews the words and shakes his head. “Do you love me?” he asks softly and turns his head to look at the other man, expression guarded but clearly telling how unhappy he is.

The air whooshes out of Steve’s lungs as his eyes widen in surprise. “What?” he gasps.

The engineer hardens his face and growls, “Do you love me? It’s not like I’m asking you about the Theory of Relativity here, Steve. It’s a simple question.”

“With a complicated answer, “ the super soldier shot back.

“Complicated,” Tony scoffs and throws an arm over the back of his chair before signaling for a waiter. 

“There’s a lot of things that are involved in answering that,” Steve continued almost pleadingly.

“Real-ly?” Tony asks slowly as the waiter approaches. “Yeah, can we get the check? Please? Thanks.” he says to him and downs his water in a couple gulps.

“Wait a second!” Steve says urgently. 

Tony sighs heavily, “For what, Steven? For you to list off all the reasons why I’m not good enough for you? No, thanks.”

Steve gasps, “No! Now I have never said…”

“You don’t have to say, Steve!” Tony nearly shouts, drawing attention from nearby tables. “You don’t have to say; because what needs to be said by you, you can’t say! So do me a favor and don’t say anything at all!”

“Tony,” the other man scolds, blushing at the other people’s curious stares.

“What?” he asks uncaring of his volume and getting louder and more hysterical by the second. “You think I really care what some loser thinks or says about me?” he gestures to general surroundings. “Fuck no! I’ve grown up dealing with assholes having an opinion about my every fucking move, Steve. I’m immune to all of it!” 

At that moment the waiter carefully set the check down on the table and walked away as inconspicuously as possible, but Tony continues. “Let them run and call National Enquirer or US Weekly and run their fucking mouths about how I’ve lost my marbles. Wouldn’t be the first time. Or even the seventh! The only person in this world I care about, the only person I want approval from, is you!”

Steve draws back from the strength in which Tony’s fury is hitting him. He doesn’t really understand what it is that has brought this on.

“I care about you too, Tony; and you have my approval,” he tells the man pleadingly. “But I don’t understand why you want it, you’ve never needed anyone’s – “

“UGH! Son of a bitch! I can’t believe you!” Tony growls and grabs into his back pocket for his wallet, ripping a couple hundreds out and throwing them down on top of the unopened checkbook. He shoves his chair back and stands, causing the glassware and dishes to clank and he slams his palms down. “You don’t get it! You never get it! I don’t know if you’re just that fucking stupid or playing some fucking game with my heart, but either way I’m goddamned tired of it!”

*“Say something, I'm giving up on you”*

Steve stares up at him as if seeing him in a whole new light. 

*“I'll be the one, if you want me to”*

“I know people think I’m invincible, and most of the time that’s true. But when it comes to you…” Tony sucks in a breath, trying to settle his racing heart.

*“Anywhere I would've followed you”*

“I love you, Steve!” he tells him, tears filling his eyes. “I love you, and I don’t…” he shakes his head, sniffling.

*“Say something, I'm giving up on you”*

Tony has his complete attention and he feels like a deer in headlights, not knowing what to do. He feels like whatever he says next could be the most important words of his life and it makes his stomach twist in knots as he looks up into his boyfriend’s large, wet brown eyes that appear to both angry and imploring. 

*“And I am feeling so small  
It was over my head  
I know nothing at all”*

It’s obvious Tony wants him to say those three little words, but doesn’t Tony understand how dangerous that is? For both of them? For all of them? Can’t the words just be understood, does it have to be some declaration? So what does he say? You know how I feel about you? No, that’s not sincere enough.

*“And I will stumble and fall  
I'm still learning to love  
Just starting to crawl”*

It doesn’t matter, apparently, because Tony just hangs his head and walks away. He guesses he took to long to say anything at all. He jumps up to follow him, nearly tripping over a lady who had her camera out recording the whole exchange and roughly shoving her aside to catch up with him; but when he reaches Tony who’s got his sunglasses in place and is climbing into the car Happy has the door open for, the other man holds up a firm hand.

“No,” the engineer tells him, voice strong despite the slight quiver to his perfect rosy lips. “You need to give me some space tonight. Pretend I’m at a charity event and call your BFF Sam,” Steve winces, “or whoever to hang out and do that fun thing that you told him this morning was the best thing ever or whatever. But don’t follow me.”

*“Say something, I'm giving up on you!”*

Steve makes to protest but Happy closes the door with an almost sense of finality that causes his heart to throb painfully in his chest.

*“I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you”*

He just fucked up. He doesn’t know a lot, but he knows that. And as the town car peels away from the curb, leaving him standing with nosy onlookers snapping pictures and whispering to each other, he’s never felt more alone.

*“Anywhere I would've followed you  
Say something, I'm giving up on you”*

“Boss?” Happy asks as they merge into traffic. “You alright?”

*“And I will swallow my pride”*

Tony is staring at the cars next to them through his dark glasses. He sighs wearily feeling the tears come, fighting them back as hard as he can. He never cried over Afghanistan. He never cried when he was dying from Palladium poisoning. He never even cried when his parents were killed in a car crash. He wasn’t going to cry over Steve fucking Rogers.

“Yeah, Hap,” he forces out and clears his throat. “Take me to the Tower. We're done here.”

“You got it, Boss,” Happy says and pushes the button to raise the privacy divider.

Tony growls as the first tear falls, and he rubs it away angrily. 

“No,” he says to himself. “You’re not gonna do this. Fuck him. Fuck him, you don’t need him!” 

But another falls…then another…and before long he’s sobbing and he can’t get it under control, and the pain in his heart has nothing to do with the leftover ache from the surgery to remove the reactor. He feels like he’s dying for a whole new reason as he cries and cries. He’s so thankful Happy doesn’t lower the divider and ask questions even though he knows the other man can hear him. 

He’d beat himself up later for acting like a girl, right now he just can’t stop.

Steve is his everything, and now it’s become wildly apparent he isn’t Steve’s…and he never would be.

*“You're the one that I love  
And I'm saying goodbye”*

He honestly doesn’t know what he’ll do next. He needs the man like he needs to breathe, but he can’t stay with someone who can’t even say his feelings after so long. Fuck, he’s the most emotionally retarded person on the planet, and even he can say it. What was Steve’s excuse? No, he doesn’t actually want that answered. He’s tired of excuses and redirections and implications.

He just wants truth.

Steve says he cares but what does that mean? He so tired of trying so hard to be the only one holding them together. He already felt so neglected and raw, but tonight just sealed it. He embarrassed himself in front of everyone in that restaurant and still it wasn’t enough. Where do you go from there?

*“Say something, I'm giving up on you  
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you  
And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)  
Say something, I'm giving up on you”*

As they reach the tower, he does his best to reign in his emotions but know he doesn’t completely succeed when Happy gives him a very serious look of concern. But he waves the man off and walks into the building.

*“Say something, I'm giving up on you”*

He can’t lie and say he isn’t crushingly disappointed not to find Steve waiting on his floor with hugs and kisses and a declaration of love and forever, because he is. It’s enough to set the tears off again and collapses on his bed letting it take him over. 

Why isn’t he ever anyone’s first choice? Why isn’t he good enough to love?

*“Say something...”*


	5. Chapter Three: Say Something pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay okay, I know! I'm sorry! I'm late but this chapter was a bitch to get how I wanted, and I had to babysit my sister's kids. (Trust me, babysitting her kids is a lot worse than it sounds.) But I'm here! New chapter yay! Thank you so much for all your support!!! Hugs to everyone!

Chapter Three ~ Say Something pt 2

June 15, 2014

“Tony Stark loses it at Tavern on the Green!” the E!Online reporter says, sounding weirdly excited.

Tony rolls his eyes as he drinks from his canister that his wheat grass shake in it. He’s sitting behind his desk in his workshop with a holograph screen floating above, showing him yet another report on his “erratic behavior” the night before. 

Truly, gossip shows and all their counterparts make him sick…actually, scratch that, all modern journalism makes him sick.

“Onlookers took video of the episode as he unloads on his boyfriend, Steve Rogers aka Captain America.” 

The girl does a little happy wiggle while saying Steve’s name that makes Tony wanna barf. Does this chick really think she’s cute? Honey, please. 

“The two have been together for almost a year and apparently the argument was over how the great Captain of our country still can’t say those three little words.”

Tony growls and turns away from the screen, finishing the last of his drink with face at the taste. 

Seriously though, who do these people think they are talking about that? About how Steve hasn’t said I love you? It’s nobody’s damn business…well, okay…he did kind of make it everyone’s business by basically taking out a fucking billboard with how loud he shouted it in the middle of everything. 

But the point stands!

He rubs his eyes, blinking away the tension headache he has from how much he cried the night before. As he thought he would, he’s highly embarrassed by his rather out of character reaction and hoping he doesn’t repeat it. Depression on top of crippling embarrassment isn’t fun.

And okay, he may also be quite a bit pissy because he hasn’t heard from Steve. That smarts like a motherfucker.

“We reached out to Stark’s camp for comment but haven’t heard anything back yet. Leaves one to wonder, where are Steve and Tony right now? Witnesses captured Tony leaving Steve on the curb outside the restaurant, telling him he needs space. Could this be the end of the ‘super’ couple Stony?”

“Jarvis, shut it down,” Clint said as he dropped into the room from the air vent, making Tony jump out of his chair in shock and turn to look at the man.

“Jesus!” he hisses with a hand to his heart and a scowl on his face. “Stop doing that, Barton! For god’s sake! Use a damn door like a normal person.”

Clint smirks and saunters forward to rest his hip on the edge of his desk. “But then I wouldn’t get to freak you out, and that would be a crime to humanity.”

“Humanity?” Tony challenged.

“Only humans that are alive and have laughter capabilities,” the archer smirks.

Tony shakes his head and rubs his forehead, “What are you doing down here?”

“Checking. Making sure you aren’t still blubbering into a bowl of double mint fudge like a chick and are ready to take your manhood back…obviously by kicking Steve in his.”

That makes Tony snort and cross his arms, fighting a small smile at Clint’s goofiness.

“There it is!” Clint grins. 

“Not really smiling, bird brain,” Tony sighs.

Clint does too and shakes his own head. “Okay, well maybe not yet. But dude, what are doing watching that garbage? I mean, really. Who cares what they think?”

“Pepper does,” Tony says and plops back in his chair. “Got bitched out for an hour this morning for my ‘reprehensibly irresponsible actions that cast a large, negative shadow over Stark Industries for my known dalliances with all things overly dramatic and…’”

“I get it!” Clint cuts him off. “Big words. Very monologue-y.” He shudders.

Tony smirks up at him then runs his hand across his desktop to bring up his keyboard.

As he begins bring up programs and typing away, Clint bites his lip and lounges back. Uncaring of how he’s most likely being distracting and getting into the way.

“What is Pepper’s deal anyway?” Clint asks and starts fiddling with the tools next to him. “I mean it’s not like you were caught fucking some other dude. You confronted Steve about his noncommittal attitude toward your otherwise perfect relationship.”

“We weren’t perfect, Clint,” Tony mutters.

“Weren’t?” Clint gasps. 

Tony pointedly ignores the other man in favor of leaning down and opening the desk drawer to rummage around.

“No, you look at me, mister!” the archer says, sitting up and closing the drawer with his foot nearly on Tony’s fingers. The engineer grunts and glares up at him, but he’s undeterred, “Weren’t? As in past tense, as in no longer a relationship…at all?”

“I don’t know,” Tony growls, irritated. “I mean probably not. I did make a diva exist and leave him on a curb in the middle of New York City after declaring to all of Tavern and anyone with access to YouTube or newspaper stands that he’s a stupid son of a bitch that I’m goddamn tired of. Or something in the relative neighborhood. Typically, you break up after that.”

Clint thinned his lips in thought, “Don’t go around making it seem like your fault. Captain Shithead had it coming.”

“Not according to the common public,” the other man pointed out. “They’re all a little busy being on ‘hashtag team Steve’s abs’ to care what I feel. Or anything about the truth.”

“Okay, you just described the general public of sexually repressed…”

“Barton, it’s trending,” Tony tells him flatly.

“Really? Already?”

Tony rolls his eyes before rubbing his forehead.

“Okay, look,” the arches says seriously. “You have shit to figure out with Steve. Real shit. You want something he doesn’t want to give, and you need to decide if you can live with that or not.”

Tony crosses his arms, “Don’t you think I know that?”

“Yeah, I think you know that. I think you’re avoiding that you do, and it’s time to get real,” Clint pushes. “You love Steve, you want a future with Steve, you’d do anything for Steve. Do you foresee Steve feeling the same and reciprocating that? For fuck’s sake, I’ve sat and watched this past year you two be all lovey dovey sweet and other vomit inducing nonsense; but most of all I’ve watch you bend over fucking backwards to make that meathead happy. And you know what else? I haven’t seen Steve do anything like that…at all. When does what you want become important?”

“Steve has done stuff for me!” Tony bellows, affronted.

“Why are you defending him?!” Clint laughs. “You’re so hopeless, like oh my god.”

“I…” Tony trails off, not having an answer.

Clint huffs and stands up, “Like I said, shit to figure out. Preferably before this building becomes a homing beacon for spontaneous sex change due to bleeding hearts and feeling problems.”

Tony glares at his retreating back as the man walks over to the place he dropped out of and reaches to pull himself up.

“You’re a real asshole, Barton,” Tony calls to him.

Clint smirks over his shoulder, “Toodles, shell-bitch.”

Tony sags and spins himself in his chair to face the concrete wall, thinking over just how right the damn bird is. After a minutes his cell starts ringing and he growls to himself.

“Fucking typical,” he mutters, assuming it’s Pepper again and pushes the button to put it on speaker. “Yeah, what?”

“Is that the way you always answer the phone, Stark?”

Tony’s eyes widen and he sits up. “Bruce? Hi, why…how’d you get my cell number?”

There’s a chuckle that filters through the line that does weird things to him he’s not sure he likes or not. “I have my ways, Tony. I saw the news. I was calling to send my support.”

Smirking, Tony leans back again, “Support would mean you care. Bruce Wayne I know doesn’t do a whole lot of that.”

“Maybe I have reasons to care,” the man challenges. “Starting with how I understand how the press eats up a good smear campaign against the wealthy, because they’re the easy target.”

Smirk faltering Tony clears his throat. “Yeah, I guess you would, huh?”

“You wanna talk about it?” the other man asks in a level voice that betrayed nothing.

The engineer sat forward and rested his elbows on his desk, “Not really. I would like to know the real reason you’re calling. We’re not exactly friends who chat regularly.”

“True enough,” Bruce agreed. “Though we’re not enemies, either. Just uninformed of one another. Is it so hard to believe I really did just want you to know I’m here to talk if you need it?”

Tony considers this quietly, rolling the thought around in his mind suspiciously and coming up blank as to what he really thinks about it besides odd.

“How about you come by the manor and we have a coffee? You like coffee, right?”

“I live on coffee,” Tony says. “But I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Bruce hums, “Why’s that?”

Scoffing, Tony laughs a little, “Why? I don’t know, maybe because it sounds a tad bit proposition-y and I happen to have a boyfriend so…”

“Not a proposition, Stark. Merely a friendly invitation. Though I understand your confusion. I am rather hard to resist and you are quite the catch.”

Blushing, though he’d never admit that, Tony splutters a little before regaining his snark. “You seriously need to work on your lines. Is that how you talk to all the girls? Invite them to your big mansion and talk all kinds of gruff and sexy?”

“So you do find me sexy. I’ll remember that.” And that was a definite smirk.

Tony huffs, “I didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t have to. But seriously though, if you’re that concerned for your virtue I assure you it’s safe.”

Tony fights a smile.

“Anyway, so you and Captain Square are still together? I would have thought after that exchange last night it’d be over.”

Any trace of a smile leaving his face, Tony scowls. “I guess you should stop having thoughts about it then.”

“Ooohhh,” Bruce says. “Icy. Got it. Backing away real slow.”

Deflating, Tony sags, “I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. It’s none of my business. I’m sorry.”

Smile returning, Tony fiddles with the pen cup on the side of desk.

“Well, I guess I’ll let you go then…”

“No, wait!” Tony says urgently. 

“Yeah?”

Tony chews on his lip. “It’s just coffee right? No funny business?”

There was a smile in Bruce’s voice as replies, “Yeah, Tony. Just coffee. I may jest, but I don’t make moves on taken men.”

Tony nods to himself, “Okay then. I’d like to.”

He feels a certain level of peace with Bruce’s reply of, “Okay.”

~T&S~

Steve is exhausted as he falls back across his bed.

He spent nearly the whole night and then most of the morning in the gym. Many times through the night he wondered if he should go up to Tony’s floor and check on him, apologize. Maybe even explain. But he just couldn’t.

Tony had been pretty adamant about wanting space, and after everything he’s put the man through he feels Tony should at least get the from him.

Steve sighs and throws an arm over his eyes.

It’s not that he doesn’t love Tony.

He just wants Tony safe. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to the man because of him. He’s lost enough people in his life that he can’t lose Tony too.

Briefly his thoughts flick to Bucky and Peggy. 

Peggy may still be alive and…relatively well, given her age. But he lost everything he had tried to build with her due to his responsibility to his country and human kind. He can’t go back and show up and make it better. He can’t go back and erase his involvement with her on that level either. It’s just dead air that hangs around his neck trying to suffocate him.

He can just see that happening to Tony and it tears him up inside. Truth is he wants everything a normal couple would have with Tony. Moving in, settling down, maybe adopting…the thought of that with Tony is enough to make him smile so wide.

But it isn’t possible.

Not with how the cards are, anyway.

He must have dozed for a while because the next thing he knew it was approaching six in the afternoon. Just then the elevator doors ding and Steve sits up. It must be – 

Tony kicks open his bedroom door a second later and Steve’s eyes widen.

“Tony… “ he starts only to stop when the other man raises a hand and scowls at him.

“No, we aren’t messing around anymore, Rogers,” the man huffs and reaches for Steve.

Steve stands and tries to reach for him, but the other man shoves him away. 

“Don’t touch me,” he hisses. “Where have you been?!”

“What do you mean?” Steve asks, confused. “I’ve been here.”

“No, I know that, dumbass!” Tony shouts. “I mean why haven’t you – “

“You told me to give you space!” Steve says, exasperated making to stand.

Tony crosses his arms, “You think I really meant that? There was a time when you would’ve known different.” He looks almost sad as he says that.

Steve scoffs, “You’re mad at me for doing what you asked? What the hell, Tony?”

“Specifically, I asked for space last night. It’s evening of the next day! Furthermore, what I wanted Steve was for you to prove to me I matter to you! Guess what, you failed!”

Steve comes forward and gets in Tony’s personal space, “Of course you matter to me! How could you ever think…”

“Oh really?” the engineer challenges. “Then why haven’t I heard from you since last night?”

“Because you…”

“…Because I said I wanted space. Heard that. If you cared about me at all, if you knew me at all, you would have known what I really wanted,” the other man says beseechingly. “You should have known what I really wanted!”

“For me to do what, Stark?” Steve growls. “Chase you like a damn teenage romance novel? Is that what you wanted?”

Tony pulls back as if he’s been slapped, but Steve keeps barreling on.

“For me to crawl on my knees to you and beg your forgiveness? Declare unending love for you over loudspeakers so all of New York can hear? What do you want?!” Steve shouts and Tony bites his lip to hold in his tears. “Because what I think you want is a little childish.”

Tony’s face hardens, “You’re an asshole.”

“No, I’m trying to figure you out!”

Tony’s fist clenches as he shift foot to foot. “There’s nothing to figure out. I want you to love me,” he says in a controlled voice. “That isn’t childish. Fuck you for even suggesting what I’m asking for is anything but justified; and fuck you for ever making me think you knew anything about me.”

“I know you pretty well,” Steve replies, crossing his arms now.

“No you fucking don’t or you would know what you just said would usually be enough for me to punch your damn lights out.”

Steve bit his tongue on the retort that was at the tip of it.

“But since I’m not childish as you claim, I’m willing to talk this out.”

Steve scoffs and turns to go sit on his bed. “Talk this out?”

Eyes narrowing, Tony growls, “What’s your problem? I don’t suck you cock well enough? Seriously, why are you being such a fucking jerk? It doesn’t become you.”

Deflating only just, Steve responds, “My problem is why are you pressing this?”

Arms tightening around himself, the engineer shouts, “We’ve been together a year! Normal people would find it weird that you still can’t say you love me! Why we have no plan for anything. For fuck sake, I find it weird and hurtful!”

“We aren’t normal, Stark,” the super soldier pointed out. “We are so far from normal. Why am I the only one of the two of us who remembers that?”

“We may not be quote unquote normal in the normal sense, but we’re still human beings, Steve. We’re still in a human relationship with each other, which requires give and take. I kind of feel it’s a lot of me giving and you taking.”

“Are you talking about this tower?” Steve replies with a sneer. “Because trust me, I can move and get out of your way.”

“No! Goddamnit!” Tony practically screams. “You’re doing this on purpose! Stop talking us in circles.”

“Fine,” Steve huffs.

“I want more,” Tony tells him earnestly. “I want more than this! I want…I want us to be more than this! Why can’t we be? Why can’t we pretend to be normal, and do something stupid like get married?”

“Get married?” Steve gasps.

Jaw dropping a little at the shock in Steve’s voice, Tony gapes a second before coming back strongly, “Yes married! Making a commitment. Making it official…”

“But married?” Steve counters. “Fine let’s move in together, we practically already are living together; but married? You’re right that is stupid.”

Sucking in a breath at the rebuff, Tony feels his heart crushing. 

“Why?”

Steve looks up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Because, Tony, what would we do married? Besides paint a giant target on our back for every enemy out there?”

“So that’s what you’re afraid of,” Tony replies.

“It’s not fear, it’s fact,” Steve answers. “We get married, we build a life, then what? The next thing will be kids. Then a separate house away from here so we can have more stability. Then school for our kids, which means outside friends for them, which means more strings…you see? You see how that’ll end the minute another Chitauri incident happens? Or Loki or Hydra or anybody. Any threat.”

“So we just sit and let our lives pass us by waiting for potential threats?”

“That’s our job!” Steve insisted.

“No,” Tony tells him strongly. “No, Steve it isn’t. Especially not mine, but that isn’t yours either.”

“So what is it then?” Steve asks, lips thinned.

“I’m so tired of arguing with you,” Tony says and shakes his head, not answering him. “I’m so tired of being upset over you. Wondering what’s wrong with me. What I haven’t done for you to feel the same way as I do about you…”

“I haven’t ever said I don’t feel for you,” Steve insists.

“But do you love me?!” Tony shouts. 

“I…” Steve trails off, unable to formulate the words.

Tony sucks in a breath and feels his face hardening, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, “Come on, why don’t you make me like the piece of shit I am! Do you love me or not?!”

Steve opens his mouth but no sound comes out. He feels the words choking in his throat, but he just can’t make himself take that leap of faith.

“Answer me!” Tony yells.

Steve looks away as Tony lets out a sob. Chancing a glance over at him, he sees the man has turned his back towards him and he sounds as if he’s sniffling. The soldier’s heart lurches, but he can’t back down. Not now. Tony will understand some day that this is what’s best.

He will.

“I can’t do this anymore with you, Steven,” Tony basically whispers and looks at him over his shoulder before turning back and wiping his eyes. “I can’t continue to let you hurt me like this. It’s not fair.”

“What are you saying?” Steve asks, already knowing the answer but not wanting it to be true.

Tony scoffs and rubs his eyes, “You know what I’m saying. We’re done, Steve. You want us to be all about the missions. Fine. You win.” He turns to face him fully, doing his best to appear strong. “But that means nothing is going to go on anymore between us. I can’t be forced to live in limbo with you.”

Steve puts his head down.

“I’m not going to ask you to move out of the tower. There’s more than enough space that we won’t be running into one another that often,” Tony continues, feelings his breathing become a little uneven. “But I am going to ask you that in case we do happen to run into one another, we give each other a wide berth. I’m sorry but I…I need time to get past this. Us.”

Steve looks up at him, eyes sorrowful.

“Because whether I want to or not right now, I still love you and being near you hurts. So please respect that,” Tony finishes turning away again.

The super soldier watches as he walks out the bedroom door, thinking of all the time he’d lifted the man and held him against the frame to kiss him senseless.

“Goodbye, Tony,” he whispers, feeling his own break when the man doesn’t respond.


	6. Chapter Four: Maybe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so sorry this is late but I think you will like it! I've been moving out of my shared apartment and into one one my own. And then I had a couple days with no internet because I was waiting for the cable company and yeah. But here we are! Bruce/Tony and Steve/Tony. I'm actually really happy with how this turned out. Song used is "Maybe" by Kelly Clarkson. Enjoy and thanks so much for your continued support!!!

Chapter Four ~ Maybe

It’s been fourteen hours and seventeen minutes and forty-seven/forty-eight/etc. seconds (though who’s counting) since he called it off with Steve, and Tony is decidedly very miserable. 

Miserable, bitter, angry, and just feeling very depressed and not fit for communal spaces of a social sort.

So why he decided to call Bruce that morning and set up a meeting for coffee, he truly has no idea. For surely it’ll end in disaster and quite possibly a lawsuit of some kind. Oh well, it isn’t as if Pepper could hate him anymore than she already does.

He’s been to Wayne Manor exactly twice before.

Once when his parents drug him along to a party the Wayne’s corporation was throwing, and once for the funeral of Bruce’s parents.

Neither of them were particularly joyful memories. Neither of them were the kinds of memories you dwell on with fond smiles and nostalgia. Then again, most of his childhood could be described that way as well. But anyway, pulling up today is uncomfortable in a way he can’t truly explain, but isn’t particularly pleasant. It isn’t that he isn’t happy to see Bruce…just that he doesn’t associate the large, nearly over the top mansion with things he likes to think about often.

In retrospect, it could be why he and Bruce never became all that close of friends. Sure their parents were of the same social class and therefore danced in the same circles, however he himself never liked to be grouped into things that could potentially turn maudlin or require some kind of emotional response he simply didn’t have one for. 

Thus: avoidance. 

However, as he climbs the old sandstone steps, he stops for a second to remember the way his mother’s royal purple gown had flowed behind her like water as she walked up the very same steps, and then turned to tell him to hurry along. He remembers scuffing his feet and rolling his eyes at her, not at all in a compliant mood…like he was most times, actually. 

He may not usually be one for sentiment, but he misses his mother. Incidents like the one he’s currently in with the press over Steve he knows she would have had the perfect words of encouragements to get him through it. She was smart like that. Always knew the right thing to say to someone, always wore a smile and carried an air of indifference for the cameras. No matter how shitty she actually felt.

He’s glad he mostly inherited that trait from her.

Reaching the large oak doors, he sighs. Here goes nothing.

Alfred opened the door before he could finish his motion to knock, and greeted him with a kind smile and slight bow.

“Hello, Mr. Stark. Master Wayne is waiting for you in the sunroom,” he tells him and closes the door behind them.

Tony smiles thinly back and follows Alfred’s lead, taking in the surroundings behind his dark navy lensed sunglasses. 

“The place really hasn’t changed all that much, has it?” he asks, mostly to himself however Alfred turns slightly to respond.

“Master Wayne had the kitchen and bathrooms updated and modernized a few years ago, but other than that no, sir. He’s preferred it remain as it was.”

Tony really couldn’t understand why. He would think you’d want any trace of before wiped out and redone when you lose your parents in the manner Bruce did. Not sitting, living in the exact same things and places they did. Feels a tad too much like walking over a gravesite.

Yet, that is more than likely just his own opinion considering as soon as his parents were killed that’s what he did. Sold their mansion, their cars, their boats, everything. He just wanted to start new and fresh without the past hanging around like a noose around his neck…or just literally hanging around on walls and shit.

“Does he get many visitors?” Tony inquired as they passed a large painting of one of Bruce’s ancestors that gave him slight pause. 

Kinda creepy in his opinion, but whatever.

“Lately, no,” Alfred said in an even voice. “He’s been rather busy, of late. He prefers to host functions away from here as well. I haven’t heard you were in attendance of any recently.”

Tony notes a hint of suspicion in Alfred’s voice.

“I haven’t been. In fact, Bruce and I reconnected at my Expo. He had a quinjet design and prototype he debuted there.”

Alfred nodded, “Ah yes.”

“Actually, now that I think about it, that was the first time in a good eight years since I’ve seen him face to face.”

 

Alfred smiles knowingly over at him as they reach the doors to the sunroom, “Well, like the Master, you’ve been rather busy too.”

Tony decides not to read too far into that and save it under his hat as the double doors are opened to reveal Bruce sitting behind a grand piano tapping a soft tune. Alfred clears his throat and Bruce looks up and over at them with a broad smile.

“Tony, glad you came,” he greets and stands to come forward.

Tony nods at him and turns to Alfred when the man says, “Sir, I’ll be bringing in the coffee and tea sandwiches in a few minutes. Is there anything else in particular either of you require?”

Tony shakes his head even as Bruce smiles over at the butler and says, “Make sure a bowl of Skittles comes too. I remember Tony here loves them.”

Slack jawed, Tony stares at Bruce, barely hearing the “Of course, sir,” Alfred replies before making his leave.

“How do you know that?” he demands and crosses his arms, refusing the seat offered, silently.

Bruce looks up at him with a slight grin, “I remember you kept a handful in the suit coat when you were here before. What were you? Seven or eight or something?” he ventures and at Tony’s blank look he shrugs. “Long time ago, I know. But about the same age as me. And I guess seeing you the other night and how you sneaked some from the bartender made me think about how cute you were sitting in my mother’s accent chair, munching away and looking as bored as I was. It’s an odd choice of candy in my opinion. I’d’ve pegged you for an M&M guy, but I guess fruit’s more your thing.”

“In more ways than one,” Tony can’t stop himself from replying.

Bruce laughs loudly at this and pats the seat next to him on the antique, floral couch.

Tony slowly comes forward while saying, “Steve’s never noticed I always eat Skittles at events.” He thinks about it for second before muttering, “Or if he has, he’s never said anything about it.”

Bruce gave him a pointed look, “I’m not Steve.”

“True,” Tony replies and sits as far away as possible on such a short couch.

This distance was then immediately obliterated by Bruce stretching out just the slightest bit and lounging back, causing his knee to touch Tony’s. To anyone (no one) it could be seen as an innocent gesture of just trying to get comfortable, but Tony knew better. He scowls slightly and keeping his arms crossed, also crosses his legs and side eye’s Bruce as if to silently say nice try. He resists the urge to roll his eyes when Bruce grins at him.

“Skittles aren’t odd, by the way,” he tells the other man, in an admittedly kind of bitchy tone. “I like the way they crunch and it’s a bunch of flavors instead of just chocolate. When you’re having to talk to people that make you want to hang yourself, having something that’s different just…helps. I guess. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Bruce nods at him. “Don’t need to explain yourself to me. You like Skittles. Okay. Fine.”

Tony side eyes him again, because that was just weird. He always needs to explain himself. His thoughts, his motivations, his ideas, his wants, his needs, everything. Nobody ever just accepts something at face value from him. Steve certainly never did, and Pepper never has or will. They put up with him and in return he answers to all their questions and judgments of him. So what could Bruce be playing at?

“I really am glad you came today,” Bruce smiles charmingly at him. 

Sighing as if put upon, Tony replies, “Wasn’t like I had much of a choice, was there?”

“Course you did,” the man replies immediately.

Tony scoffs a laugh. “No, I didn’t,” he says and squirms a little in his seat as he looks to his shoes. “If I hadn’t agreed to come, you would have gotten some inventive way to get me here. So I might as well bite the bullet, drink your coffee, and get it over with.”

Bruce frowns a little, but otherwise doesn’t respond.

“So tell me, really, why am I here?”

“You have trust issues, you know that?” Bruce slowly smirks which only serves to piss Tony off.

“Know it, live it, bought the fucking T-shirt,” he snaps. “Seriously, though. You didn’t just decide out of the blue to call me because I was having some media trouble and a bad breakup.”

“Breakup?” Bruce asks with interest that Tony blows past.

“If that were the reason you called me, you would have called me a long time ago; because we both know that’s the story of my goddamn life. Have you seen the porno? It’s floating around out there somewhere.”

Bruce laughs at this. “No, I haven’t seen your porno. In case you forgot, I was missing for quite awhile. I heard you were great though.”

“Am I supposed to say thanks?” Tony snarls.

“What about this breakup?”

“Still none of your business,” he sniffs. “Answer the question.”

“You really want to know?” Bruce asks him and rests his first finger against his lip, making Tony’s eyes narrow. “Really? Truly?”

“Yes,” the engineer sighs exasperated.

“I missed a lot, when I was away,” he answers, eyes getting a little distant. “We were never friends before, and I don’t know why. Talking to you the other day made me realize whatever the reason was is irrelevant now. We’re both grown men, both highly successful, we have a lot in common and I’d like to be friends with you. That’s it.”

Tony’s eyes narrowed again, but only just. “You called to be friends?”

“Yes,” is the calm and simple answer.

Tony rolled the words over in his mind a few times. They didn’t make a lot of sense to him. He didn’t have just friends. Nobody wanted to just be friends with him. He had colleagues, he had business associates, he had the Avengers he was forced to get along with, he had employees, but he didn’t have friends. The concept was new and just shy of ridiculous to him.

“Fishy,” he finally says.

“Fishy?” Bruce echoes, amused.

“Yep,” Tony pops the ‘p.’ “Nobody’s ever just my friend, there’s always a reason they’re there. Suddenly you want to be my friend and have no ulterior motive? Don’t think so. Fishy.”

Bruce smirks at him, “Is that Tony Stark business person talking or just Tony?”

“Tony whichever you pick,” he snaps. “Because neither has friends like that. Sorry Brucie, but buzzer’s sounding and you have two more shots to win the gold. So tell me, for the love of God, why am I here?”

“Because you want to be,” Bruce tells him, looking him in the eyes and pinning him with his stare. “You, Tony whichever, are here because you want to be. I didn’t force you here, and I damn sure know not many people can make you do things you don’t want to do. At least not for very long. You accepted my invitation, because you want to be here. I extended my invitation for the reasons I already said.”

Well, son of a bitch.

It’s not as if he’s wrong, so how does the engineer respond to that? Furthermore, since when did Bruce become master of mindfucks? 

“I’m right, aren’t I?” Bruce smiles false sweetly.

Tony glares over at him then looks to his shoes, “Yes. Fine. Accepted answer.”

“Good,” the other man says, this time sincerely.

And if he isn’t mistaken, some kind of moment was just had but he missed what exactly it was. But before he could respond, Alfred knocked and entered carrying a tray. 

“Coffee, sirs,” he says and walks into the room placing the tray down on the table.

“Thanks, Alfred,” Bruce smiles at him.

The butler looks to Tony as he stands and smiles warmly at him, for some reason this melts Tony’s self imposed ice a little. No one could be unkind to this man, it’s like kicking puppies or killing babies or something equally horrendous. So he smiled back.

“I hope you find it to your liking. I will be in the kitchen cleaning up, if you need me.”

Bruce thanks Alfred for the both of them and as they watch the man leave, Tony sighs. So Bruce wants to be friends? Does he get to keep the butler?

“No, Alfred’s mine,” Bruce laughs, good naturedly. Tony didn’t realize he said that out loud. “Besides I’ve heard you have a JARVIS, or something. Pretty cool. Artificial intelligence. Mr. Fox would love discussing the concept with you, I know.”

Tony smiles, truly smiles for the first time since…well since the day before yesterday when Steve decided to break his heart for good. So maybe he had trust issues, and maybe he wasn’t fit for common society with his feelings still very raw, but he could maybe be friends with Bruce Wayne.

Maybe. 

He needs to try the coffee first.

“I hear you play piano,” Bruce says as they pour their coffee.

Tony sips it and resists the urge to moan. Okay, as long as the other man continues to have coffee that taste like Heaven, he’s in.

“Yeah, I play a few instruments,” he replies.

“Can you play for me? I was playing for you when you came in,” he points out.

Tony laughs at this, “And I didn’t really get to hear any of it.”

“Perhaps, over the course of this friendship you will.”

Staring into the other man’s knowing eyes, Tony caves. Playing always did make the tension he had built up drain away and this whole thing was very confusing to him. Maybe something instinctual would be helpful.

He stands and makes his way to the grand, feeling across the ivories and smiling honestly again. He does love music. Tapping a little, he sits. Nearly forgetting someone else was in the room.

He plays a slow melody, not even really sure what it belongs to. 

Bruce watches Tony from the couch as he feels his way through a short warm up, before the melody becomes more serious. Bruce hasn’t ever felt so caught. Not even when he was with the Raj A’ghoul, or facing The Joker. 

“I'm strong”

Tony starts, not really sure why he’s playing this song.

“But I break  
I'm stubborn  
And I make plenty of mistakes”

Bruce sees the crease in Tony’s brow at this and it makes him frown. People have this man so convinced he’s flawed. Isn’t everybody? Isn’t that what makes everyone beautiful? Their flaws and imperfections are what should draw people together, not apart.

“Yeah I'm hard  
And life with me is never easy  
To figure out, to love  
I'm jaded but oh so lovely”

Bruce agrees with that completely, even as Tony smiles sadly through it.

“All you have to do is hold me  
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be  
If you'll trust me, love me, let me  
Maybe, maybe”

Tony doesn’t see Bruce stand, until he comes to rest his hip against the piano to watch closer. It makes him nearly miss the next verse, but he doesn’t just glances up at him briefly and then looks away.

“Someday”

He puts all his feeling of loneliness in that word and closes his eyes. Thinks of Steve as he continues.

“When we're at the same place  
When we're on the same road  
When it's OK to hold my hand”

Bruce knows who the man thinks of, and it bothers him. Steve couldn’t see this man’s beauty. He doesn’t deserve Tony’s affections, and he silently vows to make sure he never lets Tony feel the way the other man did. Ever.

“Without feeling lost  
Without all the excuses  
When it's just because   
You love me, you let me, you need me  
Then maybe  
Maybe”

If Tony were sitting at his own piano, he wouldn’t be able to continue because it hurts so much. He wasn’t good enough for the one he loves more than anything. He wasn’t chosen over all of their responsibilities as heroes, because he wasn’t worth the risk. And it hurts to the core, nearly so much he can barely breathe. But he does. And that just hurts more.

“All you have to do is hold me  
And you'll know and you'll see just how sweet it can be  
If you'll trust me, love me, let me  
Maybe, maybe”

“Tony,” Bruce says and stands very much in his personal space as he comes up behind him. “That’s enough, if it’s too hard. I didn’t ask you to do this because I wanted you to be more sad…”

“I know that,” Tony forces out and stands, pushing the bench out behind him. 

He moves fast, faster than Bruce expected, as he makes for the door.

“This was nice,” He tells the other billionaire in a rush. 

Bruce races to catch the door as Tony zooms out of it. He watches the other man move like the hounds of hell is on his ass, and it makes him curse internally.

“I’ll call and we’ll do it again,” the engineer says over his shoulder, smiling tightly to Alfred as he quickens his step past him once he reaches the front door.

Tony starts his car after basically running to it, and speeds down and away from Wayne Manor.

~S&T~

Every punching bag is obliterated and Steve feels like he’s barely even scratched the surface of his aggression.

He’s leaning against the wall of the gym, sweaty, panting and not at all tired. Fired up and ready for something, more like it. But what he isn’t sure.

He fucked up with Tony, but it’s for the best. And he doesn’t know what to do with that really. On the one hand he knows he made the wrong choice, but on the other hand he knows his choice is the only one that will keep the other man, both of them, safe.

He’d much rather have Tony alive and hating him, than dead and loving him.

Fucked up he knows, but that’s his life.

He shouldn’t even exist and yet here he is. Still alive after seventy years of ice. Still a super soldier, the only of his kind, sworn in to protect his country within every realm of his possibility.

He was never destined for happiness, but maybe Tony can find some now. 

He pulls away from the walls and heads for the free weights.

“I knew I’d find you here,” Tony calls hoarsely from behind him.

*I'm confusing as hell*

Startled, he spins and sees the other man standing in the doorway, looking positively wrecked.   
*I'm north and south  
And I'll probably never have it all figured out*

Tear tracks staining his cheeks, and droplets staining his royal blue button down; but damn Tony is still so beautiful. His hair is mussed like he’s run his fingers through it a few hundred times. And briefly Steve wonders the other man was to have need of wearing something even approaching professional; but the thought runs away as he and Tony collide with lips and teeth and grabbing hands.

*But what I know is I wasn't meant to walk this world without you*

They’re like magnets, Steve knows. He’s always known this. Even when he doesn’t know consciously what he’s doing, his body does. Knows to go to Tony, knows to wrap his arms around his waist, knows to kiss the hell out of him, knows to shed their clothes and kiss his way down the perfectly toned stomach, knows to find the lube Tony always keeps in a jacket pocket of his coat whether he remembers it’s there or not, knows to get them ready...

*And I promise I'll try  
Yeah I'm gonna try   
To give you every little part of me  
Every single detail you missed with your eyes  
Then maybe  
Maybe, yeah maybe*

Steve feels possessed. 

Like it’s an out of body experience he’s just watching.

But Tony, oh Tony, moaning and crying for him to please…just please…drives him crazy.

The way it always has. The other man’s eyes are like pools of chocolate and he knows he dives in every time. He shouldn’t be. They aren’t even together, but it feels right. 

He knows no matter what, it always will.

*One day  
We'll meet again and you'll need me, you'll see me completely  
Every little bit  
Oh yeah maybe you'll love me, you'll love me then*

Sliding home, feels so sweet but also so painful; because it isn’t home anymore. Just a memory of a home he had for a while, that he gave up, that he’ll give up again.

But for a while he can pretend. He can thrust into his pretend home and let Tony’s noises of encouragement egg him on. He can place his hands on either side of the gorgeousperfectamazinglikeohmygod engineer’s head, right there on the floor of the gym. Where anyone can walk in, and he can fucking pretend for a while.

*I don't want to be tough  
And I don't want to be proud*

He almost cries when the other man, writhing beneath him pushes on his chest and forces him to the ground with a sexy growl. 

Because he knows what that means. 

What it signifies.

*I don't need to be fixed and I certainly don't need to be found  
I'm not lost*

Tony is taking his power back. 

He’s using Steve, the way he feels Steve used him. He snaps his hips in a punishing pace, making Steve grab them not in a means of control but to hold on. Feeling every move and hearing the slick sound of slapping like nerves going alight in fire.

*I need to be loved*

Steve feels his heart explode in his chest as Tony’s fierce gaze turns into something so tragic looking. He doesn’t even know tears are falling from both of their eyes, he just knows that their bodies are speaking the language of everything that needs to be said.

*I just need to be loved  
I just want to be loved by you and I won't stop 'cause I believe  
That maybe, yeah maybe  
Maybe, yeah maybe*

When they finish, they don’t with any sound. That maybe saddest of all and Steve nearly bruises Tony as he grasps the other man’s hips to keep him in place. 

He feels actual words need to be said here, but he gasps at the heartbroken look in the other’s eyes and the shaking hand placed on his chest.

*I should know better than to touch the fire twice  
But I'm thinking maybe, yeah maybe you might*

He lets Tony get up, tries not watch as he dresses but fails. He sees the perfect skin get hidden under layer after layer of clothes like layer being added to his walls.

Steve shakes his head and refuses to watch the other man leave. He can’t it hurts too much.

But Tony pauses at the door to turn and say, sounding as choked up as he feels, “Goodbye, Steve,” and closes the door.

Steve finally lets himself truly sob. He doesn’t leave the gym for the rest of the night.

*Maybe, love me maybe*

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Check the video out and as always, comments kudos and bookmarks are appreciated!


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